How many friends should I have? I get this a lot from people who have a lot of friends but no deep connection or from people who have one friend they are deeply connected with. From these two people, their support system is weak. One has no one they feel truly connected with and the other has only one person who might not be available to them all the time. If we take into consideration when thinking of resiliency building the answer to the question to the question how many friends should I have is, it depends.
Think of the big parts of your life; school, work, motherhood, sport, hobbies, beliefs, etc. What makes you you? You should have a friend for each of these areas of your life. You neeed people who get that part of your life. Sure there can be some overlap. Maybe your friend Sam likes hockey and works at the same place you do. This is great! These are the things you connect to when talking with Sam.
What Sam shouldn’t be is your catch-all. Your only friend who you go to for everything. What happens if Sam goes out of town and you really need a friend to talk to? What happens if you and Sam get into a fight? This is why you need more than one friend that you feel connected to. Sam can’t be everything for you. It’s not fair to them or to you to put that all on one person.
When it comes to knowing how many friends you should have take inventory of the important areas of your life and see if you see a balance there. If there is a gap in your life, like you are a mom but have no mom friends. It’s time you find a friend who is a mom. You need a small collective of people in your corner who get you and the important things in your life.
If you are a person who has many friends and no deep connections. Pick a friend and start cultivating a deeper connection. Building friendships takes time, so make sure you have the time to build the connection. It’s harder to do this when you are spread out between many friends.
How many friends you should have depends on what’s important to you and the time you have. This is something that will take time and it’s worth building that support systems. Finding a balance in your support system provides you with a stronger foundation and builds resiliency.
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