I’ve written blogs on How To Get The Most Out Of Therapy and Things To Know Before You Start Therapy, but not on the effects of therapy. Sure, you are likely going experience less pain, sleep better, less stress, increased happiness yada yada yada. That’s all great, and there is so much more that you are likely to experience. So, let’s dive into the 4 effects of therapy.
1. The Breaking Of The Dam
If you are an avoider of feelings, this will likely happen to you. Therapy will make you confront your feelings, feel your feelings, and befriend them. All those things you try so hard not to do with your feelings, you will do. Eventually, it will become more comfortable, and then you will never stop crying. It’s like you chipped away at the dam that has been holding back your tears for years, and the tears never stop coming. You will find yourself crying at things that didn’t make you cry before, like cute puppy videos or the news segment on the little girl whose basketball team chipped in to pay for her to go to state with them. You will become one of those people you’ve been trying not to become for fear of feeling weak. You will unlearn that thinking and learn to embrace your tears as a part of being human. You will no longer fight with the feelings you have and instead allow them to come.
2. You Will Learn New Things That You Can’t Unlearn
In therapy, you will learn about how your trauma impacts how you show up today. You will learn about healthy communication, how to build your self-esteem, and how to communicate effectively. It’s likely that you also learn more about how the people in your life’s trauma impact them. You begin to notice patterns within yourself and others. Then, you begin to see it everywhere. You will see it in your friends, romantic relationships, and movies and hear it in songs. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. You will then become an advocate for therapy and agree that everyone should be in therapy.
3. Restructuring of relationships
Your relationship with yourself changes. The catalyst for this change is that you begin to notice because your therapist held up a mirror to you that allows you to see yourself more clearly. As you begin to notice your own patterns, you will also hear the quieter thoughts that influence your feelings and actions, the subconscious becoming conscious. You will flip back and forth between old behaviors and new ones. Slowly, you will change how you view yourself and present yourself to the world.
When you begin to see your patterns as well as the other people’s patterns, it brings space for a restructuring of the relationship. You will either begin to become closer because of the deeper conversations you will have or feel distance grow between you. This distance doesn’t always mean you stop being in a relationship with them. It could just mean you don’t connect with them the same way you used to. You have changed and grown, and with that, you’ve taken a different path than them.
4. Existential crisis
You will eventually move on from the original thing you came to therapy for and move on to other areas of growth and existential things like:
- What is my purpose?
- What do I actually like now that I am moving on from people-pleasing?
- How do I exist if I am not in survival mode?
- You mean I don’t have to live in alignment with the expectations that my parents or society puts on me?
- What do I really think happens when I die?
- Who the hell am I?
So, as you can see, the effects of therapy are a hurt-so-good kind of growth you will experience. With these growing pains, you will become more connected with a more authentic version of yourself. Get ready for some wild and wonderful self-discovery, my friend!
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