Clients often come to me and say they feel powerless like they have no control. I believe you have power in every situation you just have to know where to find it.
You have power over:
- Your actions
- Your behaviors
- Your values
- What you will and will not tolerate.
Anything that comes from your body is yours. Most of the time power or control starts from within.
Advocate for yourself
This means not being afraid to upset someone by putting yourself first.
- You are allowed to tell someone no.
- You are allowed to say ‘I’m not comfortable with that.”
- You are allowed to stick up for what you believe in.
- You are allowed to tell people how you want to be treated.
- You are allowed to walk away
- You’re allowed to stay
- You allowed to set boundaries
- You allowed to control what happens to your body
Your power may vary depending on the situation.
When in the face of an authority figure (parents, boss, doctors, or other professionals) you may feel like you have no power, but you do. When a doctor is trying to put you on a narcotic for your foot pain but you are not comfortable taking narcotics, you have the power to say no. When a teacher is grading you unfairly you have the power to confront them. After confronting the authority figure and they are still disregarding you you are allowed to bring someone in for help or talk to someone who supervises them (this is where you become a Karen).
When no one is there to help you or no one to go above (like a parent) you get to decide how to make meaning of that. If the person blatantly disregards your attempts to advocate for yourself it’s likely something below the surface is happening with them. That is not yours to carry. Still, you must figure out how to cope, manage and engage with that person (que therapy). You will have to learn what to take in from the parent and what to let go of. For that relationship to continue you change your perspective of them and know that your needs will likely not be met by that person.
Finding your power can be a challenge because you are going against the grain of thinking you are powerless. Remind yourself you do have power and the first place to look is inside yourself.
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