When we think of self-care we think of fun activities like massages, hanging out with friends, and brunch. While these are forms of self-care it isn’t always what you need. Self-care isn’t always fun. In fact, true self-care actually is quite challenging. Self-care means taking care of yourself by taking care of your needs, physically and mentally. This isn’t easy for some because they are too busy putting others first. Self-care requires knowing what you need and attending to it regardless of how uncomfortable it may make you feel (we are still keeping safety in mind).
Self-care isn’t for the short-term it’s for the long haul.
It’s doing those things you need to do so you can live a long, happy, healthy life. For example, I hate the dentist. Hate it. The scraping on my teeth makes me cringe just thinking about it. It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard times 1,000. For the sake of my teeth and health, I go when I am supposed to. Do I feel better after going? No, in fact, I have to spend some time to bring my anxiety level down. However, I know that it’s an important thing to do. I am choosing to take care of my body even though I don’t like what requires me to do so.
It requires self-reflection and evaluation.
You have to know where your struggles are to improve them. Self-care is admitting your life isn’t perfect AND still choosing to love yourself by taking care of those imperfect parts. Establishing boundaries is a perfect example of this. If you have a toxic mother and you want to maintain a relationship with her there are boundaries that need to be set in place. It’s hard because you love your mother but you also know she takes all your energy from you. Self-care is establishing boundaries with your mother because you love yourself.
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Here is a list of things that are self-care but are not fun.
- Scheduling a therapy appointment to work on the hard stuff
- Making and attending doctor appointments
- Setting boundaries with work, friends, family, and yourself
- Taking a day off work because you need a day to rest
- Being intentional about your eating habits and avoiding emotional eating
- Exercising (some people really hate it and yet it’s important)
- Accepting that you can’t change someone
- Letting go of resentment
- Saying no
- Cutting ties with a toxic person
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