Hey y’all welcome back to this week’s blog post! Let’s talk about self-sabotaging. Self-sabotaging means you are doing things that are stopping you from doing what you want or from being your best self. We all are excellent self-sabotagers. We do it all the time. Maybe you’ve gotten into a fight with your boyfriend right before going to a party and you decided to stay home while he went without you. You sit at home being pissed at him when you totally could have gone with him. You didn’t hurt him by not going, you only hurt yourself.
Here are 3 ways I see people self-sabotaging a lot.
1. Not asking for help
Let me be the first to remind you that you are not meant to do life on your own. This is where we get the saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child.’ The ‘it takes a village’ part doesn’t end when you are 18 you still need your village.
It’s okay to ask for help. Contrary to what your brain tells you it’s actually pretty badass to ask for help. Asking for help means you have great self-awareness and you are working on showing yourself love. Asking for help doesn’t mean you are weak, stupid, or worthless, which I hear A LOT, it means you are human and you recognize your limits. Which is a good thing. Recognizing your limits allows you to free up space for better things, decreases burnout, and for my caretakers and people pleasers, it allows you to help others better.
2. Not setting boundaries.
Some of us are natural-born helpers and we truly enjoy making people happy. I get that. But you cannot, cannot sacrifice yourself for others. It’s not healthy or sustainable. Not setting boundaries is a great way to never get what you want or need. Always dating the wrong person? Stuck with responsibilities you don’t want? Do you say yes when you really want to say no? Boundaries. You have needs and your needs need respect. Having trouble identifying them? Need help sorting out how you feel about it? Reach out, I can help.
If you need a refresher on boundaries check out my blog series on boundaries.
3. Not practicing self-care
I know this comes up a lot and I might sound like a broken record, but we just don’t honor this enough. We have to care for ourselves and many of us don’t do a very good job of it. We don’t take time off from work when we know we need to. We tell ourselves I just gotta make it to 5 then I can rest. Then when 5 comes around you are running on fumes or you don’t actually rest at 5 because you have to go grocery shopping or clean the house. Self-care isn’t always something we want to do but it’s necessary for us to do so we can be our best selves.
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